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Rise of the Fans (May Satirical Newsletter)

    • 84 posts
    May 7, 2017 11:26 AM PDT

    Fantheon’s May Newsletter

    Rise of the Fans

    Fans Throughout Time



    This month we’ve got a bunch of stuff to share with you! Okay, maybe not a bunch, but a lot.

    A lot might be over stating a bit. We’ve got a few things to share with you. Actually we’ve got nothing, we’re just gonna make this up as we go along.

     

    First thing to check out will be news about our upcoming Pre-Alpha dates!

     

    After that, we’ll throw in some filler with a community member, while I try to think of something constructive to put here!

     

    We’ll reveal an amazing, original, and unique race, followed by some new class information!

     

    After that we’ll recap this past month’s goings ons, and I’ll make up something that might or might not be witty!

     

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    Pre-Alpha goodness! It turns out we didn’t collect enough data (actually, we collected none) during our first Pre-Alpha event back in January (for more information check last month’s newsletter - https://www.pantheonmmo.com/content/forums/topic/5813/rise-of-the-fans-a-satirical-newsletter), so we’ll be running a second Pre-Alpha event. You’ll be able to create a game account on June 31st, and Pre-Alpha will begin on July 1st. Because our Account creation server is having some minor glitches (that we’ll have worked out before Alpha and Beta) for the time being we’ll only be able to bring account creation on for a single day. You’ll have to create your account that day, otherwise you’ll miss out on our second, and even bigger, Pre-Alpha event.

     

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    The Addicts Corner

    This month’s addict, Rumor!

     

    A quick peek into the mind of one of the communities biggest Discord addicts, she can be found prowling the channels at any given hour, and even when she’s not there, it’s likely she’s there.

     

    What is your Discord name, and how many times have you changed it to hide from stalkers/enemies/The FBI/The Russian Mafia?  

    Rumor – Never changed it.

     

    What interests you most about spending more combined total time on Discord/Forums than actually exist in any given day?  

    Interest me? Or compels me?  If I knew, I’d stop it, and not be in this Addict’s Anonymous meeting.

    What do you miss most about life before Discord happened to it?  

    Nothing.  Did you know you can do almost anything while discording?  Parenting?  No problem!  Did you know you can set up a private Discord for your kids… They can always reach mom that way!  Activities of Life?  No problem.  Stick the mobile device in your bra (do guys have any weird places they stick phones?), and carry on with your day moving about, and when the notifications go off, stop pull the device out of your bra, respond on Discord, then safely store your mobile device back in your bra and carry on with your daily activities.  Driving?  (okay, that one is a problem…)

    If you're really a Discord Addict, why aren't you in Leksur's?  

    Because Leksur is SCARY!!!

    If you had to give up Discord for 24 hours, how long would it be before the withdrawals set in, and what on earth would you do with all that free time?  

    Hmm.. I don’t think 24 hours is a good enough timeframe to judge.  I know myself pretty well and I would probably spend that entire time trying to figure out how to fix it to get it back.  I’d be in the denial phase the entire time.  I would not have time to move into acceptance or any other phase of grief that would allow me to realize I had time to do anything else.. so I am not really sure how to answer that.  And withdrawals? Meh… withdrawals are for quitters!!

     

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    Race Reveal

    The Tortuganites

     

    We’re very excited to announce that we’ve decided to add another race, either now, or later, or maybe in some expansion. You know, soon™. Why do timeframes always have to revolve around big releases, can’t we just give you guys something cool without having to throw it into an entire expansion? Fine! We’ll do it with the 1.5 release when we revamp the entire combat system to make up for including killer Jack Rabbits. You weren’t supposed to know about the killer Jack Rabbits, that was going to be a surprise, but you have to spoil everything, don’t you? Fine. Just Fine. Here’s some race information.

    The Tortuganite is a unique race, original to this game. You won’t have seen anything like it anywhere before. They sport natural armor, high strength and agility, and a unique look. They hail from underground caverns found under many cities within Terminus, and while they may be living in close proximity to the other races of Terminus, they go almost unnoticed. We’ve included a link to some concept art for this one-of-a-kind race, and we hope you’re as excited about them as we are! https://flic.kr/p/TWkKA7 and https://flic.kr/p/UxSZke 

     

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    Class Announcements

     

    This one is HUGE! Very exciting stuff. We’re introducing a new tank class that will blow you away! It’s the Shield Guardian. For more information on this new unrivaled tank class, check this thread https://www.pantheonmmo.com/content/forums/topic/6176/shield-guardian-satire/view/post_id/112202 . Yeah, we’ll likely roll them out along with the Tortuganites, why not.

     

    But even bigger, we’ve decided to start working on a new Prestige Class! For the moment, we’re not releasing much information on this new Prestige Class, but we will be tying it to the Progeny system (just so folks can wonder even more about how that’ll work), and we’re ready to give you a slight hint what that class will be. You can find that hint about it, right here https://www.flickr.com/photos/148890362@N06/shares/9317Ld . We’ll have more information about this soon™.

     

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    PvP Update!

     

    We’ve created two new features for PvP. The first is grave markers. When you kill another player you’ll be able to place a grave marker there in the form of an apple tree. These apple trees will do more than simply mark where the player died. As the player decomposes their body will provide extra nutrients to the soil, and thus the tree. The apples of these trees will provide any players eating them with a buff, based on the stats of the fallen player.

    The second new feature is along the same lines, but works counter to the first feature, because what’s the point of a new feature if it isn’t somehow counterbalanced by something that is diametrically opposed to it? Due to the expected high volume of Ranger corpses, we feel that having ranger corpses leave behind a tree (even if the tree were only there for a short term, such as a day or two) would leave the entire landscape of Terminus one giant apple orchard. Thus we’ll simply allow you to stand over a fallen ranger’s corpse and watch as it rapidly decomposes over the course of a few seconds. We feel strongly that this is the only way to keep ranger corpses (or trees) from littering the entire landscape. It was either that or replace rangers with something more useful, like angry kitten people.

     

    As a bonus we’ll be adding special death apple tree apple effects to any trees which spawn from having slain someone on the VR Team. For example killing Kilsin will give you the “Caffeinated” effect (+50% attack speed, -50% hit chance, as any normal person with that much caffeine in their system would be shaking too much to be accurate), killing Convo would add the Sassypants buff (-100 ac, but +10 to mental resistance, and +20 sarcasm, and a sassy new pair of pants!).

     

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    ICYICM

    In Case Your Ice-Cream Melted (or something like that)

     

    This previous month has been busy! There was not one but two awesome streams, during one of those Aradune managed to push Kilsin off a balcony, and the whole team managed some pretty impressive wipes.

     

    Zynxs “Squirrel Girl” Sierra has joined the team as our resident small animal communications specialist! She’ll likely do some other stuff as well, but mainly just keep the small animals in line.

     

    Kilsin crushed more dreams, and drank more coffee.

     

    There was an amazing roundtable, lots of questions were answered, but little knowledge was gained.



    ---------------

    Final Notes

     

    I have some big thanks to throw out there.

    First is Rumor and Dreconic who both helped inspire me to make the first newsletter.

    Next Is Rumor, Yarnilla, and Littlemoxie. Rumor and Yarnilla helped me find an artist to help with some of the images, and Littlemoxie was the creator of the aforementioned images. Without them this newsletter wouldn’t have been half as funny.

    Also, I wanna throw a thanks to the general population of the Voices of Terminus discord. Several folks there have (whether they knew it or not) helped me along with ideas, jokes, inspiration, and general goodness.

    One more thanks to Rumor, who helped edit for me, and provided me with more funnies!

    Also a big thanks to Convo, who gave us the original inspiration for this insanity.

    Finally, thanks to the folks at VR who took the first one of these as the good natured humor it was intended, and hopefully take this one the same.

    Disclaimer: This is an entirely satirical newsletter, and not representative of any actual news. No representatives of VR took part in the making of this newsletter (except to laugh while reading it hopefully). If you took anything in this seriously, I’m so sorry. So, so sorry.


    Next Month? More chuckles and goodness, hopefully.


    This post was edited by Reafwalk at May 8, 2017 11:12 AM PDT
    • 511 posts
    May 7, 2017 11:41 AM PDT

    First off Ranger Apple trees would not spawn all of Terminus, as soon as they started to bud they would wilt in the suns harsh rays for they have no defensive abilities
    Second, thanks for the 80's and 90's flash back with the Toruganites
    Third Many laughs where had and tears in the eyes thanks!

    • 255 posts
    May 7, 2017 1:08 PM PDT

    Hmmmm Apples!!!!

    • Moderator
    • 9115 posts
    May 7, 2017 7:42 PM PDT

    Lol ;)

  • May 7, 2017 8:14 PM PDT

    Ahahah. Well done.

    I know someone very obsessed with the comic Squirrel Girl.  And no, it's not me!

    • 78 posts
    May 8, 2017 4:41 AM PDT

    Hahaha great work Raefwalk (and helpers).

    I loved the Tortuganite shield maiden pic.

    • 221 posts
    May 8, 2017 10:33 AM PDT

    I'd like to be included in the monthly thank you Part. Every month...:-)

     

    ha. Nice job!

    • 84 posts
    May 8, 2017 11:13 AM PDT

    Convo said:

    I'd like to be included in the monthly thank you Part. Every month...:-)

     

    ha. Nice job!

     

    Fixed :P

    • 138 posts
    May 8, 2017 1:10 PM PDT

    I am still waiting for those free doughnuts you promised me for being your first "addict".... :) Great job Reaf!

    • 1778 posts
    May 8, 2017 1:19 PM PDT

    Awesome!

     

      /slow clap

    • 264 posts
    May 8, 2017 2:52 PM PDT

    Finally a High Level End Game Newsletter. (HLEGN) Applause !

    I wonder if the Tortuganites only exist under major cities because the origins of the race are from parents flushing those little green turtles that children used to bring home from the school fair. Sounds like a lore gold mine to me.

    On the stream I thought perhaps the Wizard had a Buff called Cute Voice, I was almost totally taken in by it and I was not even a MoB. 


    This post was edited by Skycaster at May 8, 2017 2:55 PM PDT
    • 72 posts
    May 8, 2017 3:35 PM PDT

    Damn, I can't even get my hat made in Fantheon.

    • 70 posts
    May 8, 2017 7:10 PM PDT
    I read this ... i believed it up until the apple part... which is quite aways in! ...